Our Last Honoring Martha Post

Today is our last post in the "Honoring Martha" series. There are some that asked not to be put on the blog, and those will appear in the book, along with all the posts previously displayed here. Thank you to all who made this series, as well as the book, possible. I look forward to seeing you all tomorrow at Grandma's memorial service, where you will all receive your own copy of the memorial book!

Today's post comes from my mother, Bonnie Ormsbee Fallon.

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It is kind of difficult to put into words and keep it condensed into a few paragraphs what was so important to me about my Mom.  I have had the honor of being able to spend some real quality time with Mom on a one to one basis.  You know your parents as a child, then get to know them as an adult with your own children, and then I had the privilege of knowing Mom as she regressed into her second childhood.  I was able to do for her all the small and large things she did for me when I was a child. 


Mom taught me first and foremost how to be a good wife, homemaker, mother, and sibling.  She taught me by example, not by brow beating me, how to love God with a pure heart and to live my life in total faith.  I would be the first one to admit that I fell short of her example.  I regret that but, I still have time to try and live up to all that she taught me. 


Every time I take out a cookie sheet or a bowl to bake with I can see Mom patiently teaching me to measure, stir, sift, and crack an egg.  I remember canning at her elbow, and picking berries. Oh my goodness, we couldn't leave the berry field until our buckets were full!  I can see her right with us in the garden picking rock! 


She taught me how to be frugal and how not to be wasteful.  We didn't have much growing up but, we never knew it.  We always had a clean home that was warm and filled with love and lots of people.  Mommy never knew when Dad would show up with an extra dinner guest in tow.  Like I said we didn't have a lot and that would include extra food, but, no matter how many people joined us at the dinner table Mommy would feed them. And guess what, we never went without a meal.  Mommy could stretch a dollar farther than anyone I have ever met.

 Mom was a very gentle soul who hated confrontation.  I remember as a little girl - I wasn't in school yet, and a door-to-door salesman was coming up our street.  Mom and I were eating chicken noodle soup and Mom spotted that salesman and quick as a wink she had us grab our soup bowls and go upstairs to the bedroom to hide.  I remember asking her why we were hiding, and she told me because we didn't have money to buy anything and she felt bad telling the man no, because that was how he made his living.

I hear all the memories of how Martha was always playing with the later generation of children. I guess like most mothers, she was too busy taking care of us, to really have the time to play with us.  I know that is how it was when I was raising my girls.  Later in life, Mom often said to me that she wished she had let the housework go and played with us more.  You know, I never really remember thinking that Mom was neglecting us, because she was always there for us when we needed her and she made our house happy and peaceful - a real home.

Mom always supported me in whatever it was I wanted to do.  She worked and pinched pennies even harder so I could take piano lessons, she would sit and help me sew and make clothes for my dolls.  She would sit as proud as a peacock when I sang at church or was in a play or school program.  I just always knew she was there if I happened to fall - she was my ever present safety net.


In my young adult life and even into my present day life, she never gave me her opinion without being asked.  When I would come to her to confess something that I could no longer hold in she would just tell me that it didn't matter now, and that she loved me no matter what. She loved my children unconditionally and treated each one as if they were her only grandchild.  Just the same way that she treated my sisters and I.

Living with Mom these last couple of months gave me the most precious memories of her.  I will always remember how she loved me, and when she needed me most I was privileged to be able to care for her until her last breath on this earth. But, you see it doesn't end there.  Because of the way my mother lived her life and the way she raised me, I now know God and he is my best friend just like he was Mom's best friend, and I can continue to be the woman my Mom always wanted me to be.  The one she knew I could be.  Because of my mother and her example, I know I will someday soon see her again in Heaven, the place she taught us about and the place where she is now waiting for me to come and be with her again. 


I love you Martha Marie Ormsbee, my "Mommy”. Hold me a place right next to you!

How My Grandmother Lived Her Life Always Makes Me Smile

Today's post in our "Honoring Martha" series comes from Eric Banks.

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Life is an amazing gift. How my grandmother lived her life always makes me smile. I don’t recall her ever having a bad day or if she did I never knew it. What I do remember was her desire to enjoy every moment and how my time with are some of the most enjoyable experiences of my life. The white house on the Hollow was the central point for family events and I loved spending time there. Grandma acted as young as we were. She always had the time to play kickball in the back yard, splash around in the pool, and go to the creek to catch crayfish or slide down a snow covered hill on a plastic garbage bag. Grandma was a powerhouse in the kitchen and no one got in the way and everyone got to help if you wanted to.

She mediated fights and brought peace to the family (right Stacie, Amie and Shannon?). As a middle kid I was very insular and tried to keep to myself. Grandma would always come find me and talk, and found away with her power of persuasion to get me involved in the family functions, when I all I wanted to do was read books and listen to Metallica. She knew how to penetrate the shell I lived in and I always felt comfortable in her presence. I could never say no to her. She used to rub my back and talk to me about anything that came into her mind; her gentle spirit and loving touch made me feel so safe and secure.

Above all else I remember her undying love of God. She lived the conviction of her faith and it shined in everything that she did. It was with Grandma the day I accepted the Lord, and I remember her watching on the day I was baptized. In college she always sent me the monthly devotional and encouraged me to pray everyday. She would talk to me about how I was going to marry a good Christian girl and preach the gospel. While my life is farthest from her vision, she taught me that you need to believe in something and live by it no matter how hard things might get.

For Christmas in 1988 she gave me a bible and the inscription reads, “I love you very much and I pray for you everyday. Proverbs 3:5&6.” The Proverb says, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understand. In all ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy path.” This bible sits in my office and I often take it out and read the inscription and the verse. I am doing that a lot more these days as I think of her.

While I am sad she is no longer with us, I know she is where she always wanted to be. She talked about not fearing death because you go to be with the Lord and life is better and there are no worries or fears. I know she is in a better place, reunited with Grandpa and I hope they are having one hell of a good time.

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Tributes From Some of Grandma's Church People

This one is from Keith and Rae McCurdy.

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Our memories of Martha are that of a quiet faithful servant, doing God's work in her way.

Martha was not one to come up with new ideas for activities and events that we had going on at church, but was always involved in them.  You would see her doing what was asked of her, and she would do it faithfully and joyfully while going about God's work.

She faithfully taught her Primary S.S. Class. It was a sad day when she had to stop because of health issues.

She also did other things around the church. The ones we remember the most: helping her mother clean the church, setting up for communion, and helping in the kitchen. She was also a teacher and helper in DVBS(including transporting carloads of children to DVBS).  

Martha was a wonderful example of a faithful servant, and will be missed greatly.

Thanks, Keith and Rae! I know she loved her church, and all the people there. She most definitely was a faithful servant. :-)

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This next tribute was created by Dick and Carolyn Halbert.

Thanks, Dick and Carolyn! That is beautiful! :-)

Just Before She Died.....

Just hours before Grandma died, Heather Harvey Fico sent this to me in an email. I thought it was so beautiful! I asked her if I could use it as a tribute, and she said yes!  

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I just got a phone call from my dad telling me that Aunt Martha's not long for this life.  I have such pain in my heart.  I know it's a selfish pain.  It's selfish to want her to stay just so I know she's in this world with me.

So I sit here, drinking a cup of hot tea, in a silent tribute to the most wonderful, loving, kind, warm-hearted and generous woman this world has ever known.  And praying that her trip will be painless and swift.  And envying her for the people she'll be seeing on the other side.  I can see their faces so clearly....Grandma Harvey, Uncle Bucky, my brother Tommy, and all the family and friends gone before.  I like to imagine Uncle Bucky coming for her.  Taking her hand in those large hands of his that she missed so much and showing her the way.

My life is so much richer for having known her and been loved by her.  I know she'll be watching over me and my family and it's nice to know that she'll be waiting for me one day, whole and beautiful and smiling her special smile.

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And a few days before Grandma died, Shannon Fallon wrote this poem......

If ever I forget my name or words cause me to tumble,

If ever I forget my friends and or small things make me stumble.

If ever I forget the way the sun shown on my face,

If ever I forget the way to a familiar place.

If ever I forget my past or those who were a part,

If ever I forget the words that spoke directly to the heart.

Just hold my hand and say His name or sing a song of praise,

Or whisper how He loves me with arms we proudly raised.

Just hold me through my waiting as my ship draws near the shore,

And watch me leave my suffering right there at Heaven's door.

I’ll wave goodbye with all the love still sounding in my ear,

As the ship sets her sails for home as Jesus draws me near.

I’ll see the faces of those I loved that so long ago have left,

But I’ll tell my Lord, as I settle in, I’ll be waiting for the rest.

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She Was Always Full of Life and Smiling

Today's post in our "Honoring Martha" series comes from Megan Harvey.

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Some of my favorite childhood memories are going to New York State and visiting our family members, especially Aunt Martha.  She was always full of life and smiling. 

I remember playing the poison ivy game with her and my sister, Heather.  We also used to watch the Fat Albert videos she had and laugh and laugh together! 

I also really enjoyed being in the kitchen with her.  She never hesitated to let you help and would never mind if you got a little dirty.  She always said that was the fun of baking!! 

I remember playing in her garage and playhouse outside.  This is especially funny because I remember calling 911 on what I thought was the play phone in her garage.  It wasn't and they called back!  Aunt Martha wasn't mad though, she knew I didn't mean it and was happy I knew the number! 

Thinking about all of these memories, I think her smile is what I will miss the most.  Just showing her beautiful smile could put anyone in the best of moods.  She always could say the right thing to make you feel so good about yourself.  I remember how proud she always made me feel when she would ask me about teaching and my students.  You couldn't help but feel loved and appreciated by her...and her hugs were just as good.  

 

It makes me very sad to think that she won't be at my wedding in July, but I know she'll be smiling down on me.

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Thank you Megan! :-)

Chocolate No Bake Cookies

Today's post in our "Honoring Martha" series comes from Kimberly Fallon Magrath.

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When I was younger I had the chance to spend a lot of quality time with my Grandma and Aunts. There are a lot of memories that I have of being with Aunt Marthey but there is one that comes to my mind the most.
 
I remember going to Aunt Martha's all the time and wanting to make something. She would get her recipes out and we would look through then, but we would always come back tot he same recipe: Chocolate No Bake Cookies. Who knew she was preparing me for the rest of my life. Who would have known they would be my husbands favorite cookie. I think of her every time I make these cookies and the fun we shared. I will always have this memory.

Thank you Aunt Martha for being a Godly example in my life and one of the best Aunts ever with all the time and fun we shared. I hope one day the memories I have had with Aunt Martha, I can share with my niece and nephew.

Remember That I Never Liked Good-byes

Today's post in our Honoring Martha series comes from Grandma's half-sister, Dolores Stocker, and her daughter, Debbie Schulaka.

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Hi Aunt Martha,

It’s Debbie, your niece from New Jersey. That is how you used to introduce me

to your Sunday School class when I visited. I just wanted to remind you of some

of the fun I had with you when I visited. You probably gave me my first driving

lesson. You would let me steer the car on a back road when we went on your

paper route. Thank you for letting Gina be there so much of the time when I was

there because I remember her being part of the fun also. I remember bump,

bump, bumping down those steps after having played with the play kitchen

upstairs in the old house. Standing on our heads in the hallway was always

something we had to do. Of course we were giggling our heads off. There was

also a time when we got to listen to Bye Bye Miss American Pie on Pat’s record

player a million times, or so it seemed. I remember you using that eyelash curler

on your eyelashes before you went out. That thing scared me. It still does. I

couldn’t believe it when my daughter started using one. I wrote you a letter

about it. Speaking of letters, I remember writing to you as a kid and asking about

all the grandchildren up there in New York State and you would always tell me

they were growing like weeds. Well I had better close for this time. Remember

that I never liked good byes when it was time to leave for home. So I won’t say

good bye now but instead just say I love you Aunt Martha.

Love,

Debbie

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I am not good with words and all that everyone has said about Martha it is all true.

What I remember, and that's not much these days, is Martha's fantastic molasses cookies and the huge turkey she used to cook all night in the oven. I think it may have been for Thanksgiving Day.

We did not get up to NYS that often and I was a lot younger than Martha. I remember always having fun there and sometimes they used to come down to Jersey.

Remember to love all your family, for tomorrow one could be gone. I miss my mom and dad a whole bunch and when I look back, I wish things could have been different.

~Dolores

Memories of Grandma O

 Today's posts in our "Honoring Martha" series comes from Johhny Bank's two daughters, Brittney and Ashleigh Banks, and their mother, Tammy.

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Grandma O,

I will always remember being over at your house when I was younger. You took us when mom and dad were out working or I was sick. I remember when we went up the road to feed the horses, and how bad I felt when I was helping you shut the garage door and I pinched your finger; you started to bleed. You helped me feel better when you let me help clean and bandage your finger. All I have is good, happy, peaceful memories of you and I will share them with people. You are a very strong-willed woman. I look up to you. I love you more than you know.~Brittney Taylor

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Grandma O,

I will always remember all the good times we had together, all the times we came up to visit, all the birthday parties, and all the family gatherings. Even though you can’t remember your last birthday, I always will because we spent the whole day together. Grandma O, you will always be in my thoughts, I’m gonna miss you Grandma. ~Ashleigh Kate

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I have never known her as Mrs. Ormsbee or even Martha. She has been Grandma O to me since I met her. She made me feel like a part of her family from that first meeting. Upon meeting her anyone could see she was an exceptional woman, in her devotion to her family and her faith. I have never met a woman with such integrity and grace. She was what good women are made of. It is her kind of unconditional love that cements families with permanent relationships. She was filled with compassion and understanding for those she loved. ~Tammy Sanford Banks

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Cameron, Brittney, and Ashleigh

She Was the Sweetest and Most Loving Person I Have Ever Known

Don't forget, you have until Friday to get me your tribute, so if you still want to write something, you have time! :-) I don't want anyone to be left out.....

Today's post in our "Honoring Martha" series comes from David Davis, and his wife Dawn.

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What I remember most about Aunt Martha....She was the sweetest and most loving person that I have ever known.

When Aunt Martha met Dawn for the first time she really liked her and said that I have found a good woman. That made me feel good.Well Aunt Martha was right I did get a good one.

I remember when I was in basic training and wanted to quit and come home I called her one Sat. night to talk to her she gave me the strength to stick it out and I did just that.What helped me through was the praying that we did on the phone. And all the other soldiers were laughing at me because I was praying to someone on the phone. But it didn't bother me in the least because Aunt Martha was on the other end listening to my prayers.

When I use to go and spend the summers at her house we use to talk about a lot of different things and she always knew what to say and do to make me feel better and deal with things.

Aunt Martha was an awesome person that had more love for her family and the Lord then anyone I have ever met. When I was around her I always felt so safe and secure and I knew nothing would ever happen to me.

I also remember the picnics we would have in Gilboa on Memorial weekend and at our farm in Northfield. She would always play games with all the kids.

The most special memory I had about Aunt Martha was when I graduated from high school.No one in the family thought I would ever do it, myself included. She knew I would do it because she told me long before I graduated.

I will never forget the impact that Aunt Martha has had on mine and all my family's lives. This tribute to her was an awesome idea and it will be there for all of us who loved and cherished her, to go back and see these things when we feel down and want to be lifted up.

Thank you Aunt Martha for being the best Aunt and I love you more than words can ever say and my memories of you will be with me forever.

I love you Aunt Martha.

David

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I just want to say what a true blessing Aunt Martha has been for me and the boys as well. She always had a smile on her face anytime we were with her. Not a bad thing to say about anyone. She truly made me feel welcomed into the family. I always enjoyed the family gatherings. Scott and Tyler loved her a lot too. Sometimes Aunt Martha and Betty would tell me stories of things they used to do when they were younger. They would have me in stitches and sometimes in disbelief about some of the things they did. I also enjoyed talking with Aunt Martha about the  Lord.  What a wonderful lady she is and we will miss her when she enters into the eternal life. We love you Aunt Martha!     ~Dawn 

David and his twin sister Darlene

David, Dawn and their son at Aunt Martha's house

David, his two sons (and maybe Darlene's son?) and Aunt Betty Finch at Grandma's

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Thanks so much, David and Dawn, for writing your thoughts and memories of Grandma!  ~Love, Stacie

The Legacy Lives On

Since we have a date for Grandma's memorial service, and it's not until the 5th, we have a extended the deadline for tributes until this Friday the 28th. We have to submit it to the printing place on Monday, and we need time to get it together. Also, if you have a picture you'd like to go on your page, please send that as well. Send it all to staciemknapp@gmail.com. Thanks for all your support! ~Love, Stacie

Today's post in our "Honoring Martha" series comes from Betty Ormsbee Northrup. 

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My granddaughter, Shanda, gave me the most amazing compliment the other day - she said when she remembers things about Grandma O. she thinks about me because we're so much alike. What better tribute could I get than that. Bonnie and Pat are the same type of grandmothers- so, the legacy lives on.

Mom loved so completely. If she knew you liked a certain food she made sure she had it for you. If she was in the store and saw some little thing that she thought you might like - she bought it. This is something that we 3  do for each other and our grandchildren all the time - so, the legacy lives on.

We daughters may not always agree with someone's thinking or life-style but we respect their right to it. We look for good in everyone and always find a silver-lining in the darkest cloud - so, the legacy lives on.

If we see someone in need or suffering through something we offer support and help - so, the legacy lives on.

We take pride in remembering where we came from and being thankful for all that God has given us - so, the legacy lives on.

This tribute is to the amazing woman Mom was because she LIVED what she believed. So, as each of you, young or older, travel through your lives - try practice just one of Mom's teachings everyday. Especially, loving God and making Him the integral part of your lives - the legacy will live on and the world will be a much better place.  

January 25, 2011 We are all still rejoicing

Tonight marks the first full day of Mom not being here on earth with us. I have spoken with alot of the family members and we're all in agreement that Mom is no longer suffering and we are so happy for her.  Dolly, Patty, and I went to the Westcott Funeral Home today and made all the arrangements for Mom's final resting for her body.  It feels like we were visiting an old friend.  Actually, Jim has been handling our family funeral arrangements for many years now.  We all sat around a table and he had Daddy's chart out so we could use it for reference if needed.  We got all the information for the death certificate, he listed all the things we felt we needed to give Mom's body the best final resting.  We chose a pretty but, kind of simple casket.  It is white with pink lining, so perfect for our little Mama who loved her pastels.  It just suited her.  Then we even chose the flower spray for the coffin.  Mom's request was for a closed casket.  We had taken the clothes that we wanted Mom buried in-right down to coordinated jewelry.  Everything went well and we all had a joyful spirit.  We chose the date for the service.  It is to be February 5th at 11:00am at Mom's church, Fellowship Baptist Lighthouse Church on Covered Bridge Rd. in Unadilla.  If anyone wants to send flowers they can be delivered right to the church.  We also have decided that if anyone wants to contribute in Mom's memory we would like it to be to the Catskill Area Hospice in Oneonta, the Alzhiemers Assoc., or to Mom's church.  I felt a little sadness tonight as everyone started to leave.  The last to leave was Dolly.  As I stood at the door to wave good-bye I got kind of teary-eyed.  I guess when it gets quiet reality has time to set in.  Don't get me wrong I am in no way wishing for Mom back, I am happy she is in Glory with her dear Jesus and all the loved one who have gone before, but I am feeling sad for me and all who knew Mom because we will no longer be able to see her in the physical.  I guess the tears are selfish tears.  I know that in time we will all be stronger but, as I have been told by many, we need this time.  So I leave you all tonight with a tear in my eye but a real lightness in my spirit cuz my Mama is at peace and is resting. Goodnight.

It Is Because Of Her, We Are Who We Are

Well, Grandma is in heaven now! We had the most amazing experience of singing her into heaven last night! Read Mom's post about it here. It was beautiful, and such an honor. Tonight we lost the most loving, kind, beautiful woman I have EVER known. But now she is perfect and whole, in both body and mind, and we will see her again! 

We will continue to publish the "Honoring Martha" posts until they're done. And there is still a little bit of time to send in your tribute for the book! Thanks so much for all your support though all of this! ~Love, Stacie

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When I think of Aunt Martha, the following thoughts come to mind:

Her kind and gentle ways…

Her love and faithfulness for the Lord…

Her wonderful laugh and sense of humor…

Her hugs and genuine love for everyone, she always made me feel like family…

She has always been the best example for me and my children of what a Mother and Grandmother are suppose  to be.

It is because of her, we are who we are.

I have a poem hanging in the dining room below Tommy’s picture surrounded by April, Heather & Megan’s pictures which best explains how I feel.

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same." -   --  Unknown

 I love you Aunt Martha, with all of my heart…

Terry

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You are so right Terry! She was the very best example, and she sure did leave footprints on our hearts! We all are who we are, in a very big way, because of my little Grandma with the biggest heart I've ever known! Thanks so much for writing this! ~Much love, Stacie

January 24, 2011 At rest at last!!

Tonight January 24, 2011 at 7:15pm Martha Marie Harvey Ormsbee went home to be with her best friend, Jesus Christ.  She entered the gates of Heaven accompanied by, we believe, her earthly love Bucky.  We had the honor of singing Mom into heaven.

This is how it all went.  Stacie and Amie had been at the house nearly all day.  Stacie brought Aunt Lorraine and Aunt Bev over for while.  I decided to bake cookies, so Mom could smell them baking. Mom was getting worse and worse as the hours went by. Dolly got here about 6. We sat down and ate dinner. After dinner Stacie felt an overwhelming need to go in and check on Mom. She called out to us, and told us that we'd better get in there. All day Mom's mouth was wide open, and unmoving as she struggled to breathe. Now her mouth was moving rapidly, like she was trying to talk. We all (me, Dolly, Stacie, Amie and Shannon) gathered around Mom's bed and talked to her.

Dolly kept fluffing her hair, telling her she loved her and that she was the most amazing mother. Then she told her that she had talked to Pat and Pat said she couldn't get home til tomorrow, but she loved her, and not to wait, just go home. Mom appeared to be looking at Dolly, but then we noticed she was looking toward the end of the bed. We asked her if she could see Dad, because he was coming to get her and take her to heaven. He was going to take her hand in his big calloused hand, and escort her to heaven. Dolly said, "Remember Mom, you always said, when Daddy held your hand it made your heart skip a beat."

I thanked her for being such a great mom and great grandmother. We told her that we were all going to miss her, but that we wanted her to go to heaven. I told her that the house wasn't going to leave the family, and that we'd continue to have parties and Easter egg hunts and picnics, just like we used to. We'd also bake cookies and Dolly promised to help me with the flower gardens. We'd also plant vegetables.

Stacie suggested that we sing to her, so we turned Alan Jackson off and started singing hymns. We sang a couple Sunday School songs and then, "When the Roll is Called Up Yonder." All of a sudden her breathing calmed and was very slow and peaceful. Then we decided to sing, "Amazing Grace." We were all gathered around her bed singing, (and I have to say, we sounded really good.) Shannon said it was because we were singing with the Angel choir. Each of us had a hand on her. Michael came in the middle of the song. Then her color began to fade and her breathing slowed dramatically. She smiled slightly, closed her eyes and as we sang the words, "And grace will lead you home...." she took her last breath.

We made our calls and then gathered at her bed, holding hands, and praying, thanking God for giving us such a wonderful woman for all these years.

Johnny came to say good-bye. Then Hospice came to prepare her body for travel. Next Jim Westcott and Frank Slocum came to take her body to the funeral parlor. We all stood on the porch, and waved until they were out of sight, just like Mom used to do when we would leave. The Hospice lady thought it was awesome.

This won't be my last blog, and the "Honoring Martha" series will continue until everyone who wants their post published has sent them in. Thanks for all your prayers and support through all of this. It's meant so much to all of us.

As Dolly has been saying all along, "If each day we do ONE thing that Martha would have done, the world will be a better place."

She Was Always Willing To Play With Kids

I have received many responses this weekend, and I want to say thank you to everyone. Keep them coming! You have until Tuesday. ~Love, Stacie

Today's post in our "Honoring Martha" series comes from my son, Levi Knapp.

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I always called Grandma Ormsbee.....Ormy. She was always willing to play with kids. She liked to be outside. I remember going in the woods behind her house and exploring. I remember playing in the yard with her. Sometimes we would lay on our backs in the backyard and listen to sounds.

I remember her toy box. We played bowling with pins and the bowling ball in her living room. Once she let me have a toy pilot from the toy box to add to my army man collection.

I always ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches there. And candy.

When I was very little I used to call the tower that we could see from her house, “Ormy's Tower.”

My mom has been saying that Ormy is the Fruit of the Spirit. I memorized that verse about four months ago.

I loved Ormy and I still do.

~Levi 

Amie, Grandma, Audie and Levi

Grandma and Levi

Grandma and Levi

Levi, Genna and Grandma in Grandma's backyard

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Thanks so much for writing this, Bud! ~Love, Mom

January 23. 2011

  On this Tuesday, January 25th, it will be 1 month since Mom had her stroke and she started her downward path in this disease called alzhiemers.  Today has seen changes in Mom's condition.  She is now unresponsive and doesn't even show any signs of discomfort when I have to move her.  Her breathing has become very labored.  We just rolled her onto her side and she is still breathing heavy but, it seems to be a little less labored.  You know when I started into this with Mom somehow I never really thought about what it would be like when things like this happened.  I think I probably pushed it to the back of my mind knowing that I had enough to deal with at the time and that I would think about all that when the time came.  Well, the time is here and we are dealing with it the best we can. I will honestly say that I would never go into this field of work.  I am really so thankful for all the input everyone has put into the Honoring Martha segment of this whole journey.  It is so helpful now and I know that all of us will find great comfort in reviewing them over the months to come.  Goodnight to all and I'll be back tomorrow come what may.

Grandma's House Was Always So Warm and Inviting

I just want to say "Thanks so much!" to everyone who has sent in responses to this tribute! This makes our 17th published post! I also have a couple more waiting in my inbox, as well as a few who don't want theirs published on the blog, but are more than happy to have it included in the book. I REALLY appreciate the amazing responses. And there is still time! You have until Tuesday January 25th to send me yours. It can be as short or as long as you want. And feel free to send pictures too. My email address is.... staciemknapp@gmail.com.

Today's post in our "Honoring Martha" series comes from Shanda Banks, Johnny Bank's daughter.

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As Grandma Ormsbee's first great-granddaughter have been blessed with many memories and stories to pass down to my children.

Whenever we'd go to see Grandma I remember that she always had lots of food and she was always trying to feed me. The refrigerator was at my disposal , the cookie jar was always full and I could eat as many as I wanted to. The cocoa drop cookies were my favorite with the "ever famous" white icing piled high on top.

I loved playing in the playhouse with my cousins and Grandma would always give us eggs, lemon juice, etc. to encourage our creative, want to cook minds. My specialty was "skunk juice". It was nasty! I remember playing in the loft in the garage with my cousin, Tamara. 

Grandma O's house was always fun.She had a great tire swing in the front yard and I loved to swing on that, too. Simple fun.

Grandma always let me work in the garden with her - she loved her flowers and was so proud of the vegetables she grew.

Grandma's house was always so warm and inviting, very family oriented with pictures of every family member - you never felt left out at Grandma O's house. She had this toy box in the back bedroom  that had some of the neatest things in it - I played in it as well as my children - a memory I'll always cherish. I loved that back bedroom and the sewing machine that was in there.

I remember, Grandma Betty had a snake in her ceramics shop and we're both petrified of snakes. Well, we called Grandma O. and she came to our rescue with a bucket and a hoe and got rid of the snake.

As Grandma's memory started getting bad, she couldn't remember my name but she always told me how pretty I was. I always told her "Thank you, I get my looks from you - after all you are my Great-Grandma".

I love you, Grandma - thanks for being so wonderful.

~Shanda Ryan Banks

Shanda, Eric and Grandma

 

Shanda, Grandma, Uncle John and Aunt Betty

Shannon, Shanda, Grandma and Kristin at a birthday party for Grandma

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Thank you Shanda!!!

January 22. 2011 Yet another day

I am having trouble remembering what day it is.  I guess the days all seem to run into each other.  Today was really uneventful.  Amie was here for awhile and she helped me get Mom cleaned and changed.  She may be a little mite but, she is still heavy.  She isn't really eating at all just taking in some liquids almost always water.  I can see changes each today.  Today we noticed what they call "mottling" (purplish/red areas) on both her knees and a little on her feet.  There is some darkening around her eyes.  These are all signs that the end is nearing. She seems to be comfortable until she has to be moved and then she shows discomfort.  There just seems to be a different atmosphere in the house.  I can't explain it but, I know it's different.

  Aunt Lorraine, Christal, Ivannah, Ryan and Don came this afternoon to visit.  They all went in to see Mom and said that she would raise her eyebrows when they said who they were and especially showed more reaction when she found out that the kids were here.  Since there isn't a lot that can be said in Mom's room, everyone came back to the living room and we just caught up on things that have been going on in our lives.  That was good.     
   I just want everyone to know that in my opinion and my observation, that Mom isn't long for this earthly place.  So, if you plan on doing an entry in the Honoring Martha booklet, please don't put it off.  Stacie has been very diligent and has been working very hard on making this the best tribute to Mom that she can.  This whole thing just started out as a way for me to vent my feelings and to not feel alone and to let others know what was going on with Mom.  It has turned into an awesome way to honor Mom and it has gotten family and friends talking that may have been too busy or distracted to keep in touch.  I think a further way to honor Martha would be to not let the lines of communication go silent again.  Life is too short and too precious to let petty things get in the way of what is really important - people.  Mom was always the one to walk a mile to avoid a fight or confrontation and I can never remember her saying mean things to people.  She hated to hurt others feelings.  Maybe this is a good lesson for us all.  Imagine what could be avoided if we just learned to turn the other cheek and show love not anger.  Well, I had better get out from behind my pulpit!!! but, you all know what I mean.
  So, please pray for us.  Mom needs your prayers for a quick and peaceful walk into heaven.  Good night and love to ya'll.

"Aunt Martha Always Showed Me How To Plant Flowers On The Graves"

My husband spoke with a printer yesterday, and it is going to take four business days to publish the "Honoring Martha" book that we will be giving out at Grandma's memorial service. If you would like to make sure your tribute is included in the book, we are asking that you send your responses to staciemknapp@gmail.com by Tuesday the 25th. Thank you! ~Love Stacie

 

Today's post comes from Heather Harvey Fico's other daughter, Madilynn Fico.  

 

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Aunt Martha always showed me how to plant flowers on the graves.  She would talk to me while we planted the flowers.  She showed me how to put the flowers in the hole without the roots showing.  She used to give me candy.  She always told me how pretty I was.  She used to take walks with me.  We used to go see her at my Great Poppy's house when she came to visit him and she would watch me and Bella roll down the big hill.  I love her very much.

~Madilynn Fico

 

Uncle Eben, Aunt Martha, Bella, Madi and Uncle Eben's grand-daughter

Bella, Aunt Martha, Madi and Heather

At the graves again, a few years later....Aunt Martha, Bella, Madi, and Aunt Lorraine

A recent picture of Madi!

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Thank you so much for what you wrote, Madi! I loved it!

January 21, 2011 The ending to a busy day centered around Martha

Well, today has been a very busy day.  I feel like we had a circular front door.  Since Mom's time on earth is winding down her Hospice workers are coming more often.  The news they give me is sad but, informative.  Mom has entered the very last phase of this awful disease and it is a very sad thing to watch.  Even though we have accepted that she won't be with us much longer, I still mourn the fact that I will never be able to see her face or know that she is just a few miles away where I can get to her and visit whenever I want to.  I will see her face when I reach the gates of Heaven at my appointed time, I know, but I still will miss seeing her.  The Hospice caseworker came to see me and make sure I'm okay, after she left Audrey the nurse came to evaluate Mom and decided she should be started on a very, very small dose of Morphine for the discomfort she is experiencing in her neck and lower back.  It seems to work but makes her kind of tired, more than usual. While Audrey was still here Dolly and Neal came to spend some time.  Then Shanda and Regan arrived. Everyone left and after a little while Stacie came bearing a sub for our dinner.  Then came Amie and Shannon who had been to Albany.  Now, the party has started.  I took some time to rest and the girls all went in to visit with Mommy.  They were going to read some Bible passages to her and then just talk to her.  All of a sudden I could hear singing-it was the girls singing "church" songs to Mom.  It was such a beautiful thing.  The girls said that as they sang Mom would smile and open her eyes and even try to mouth some words.  She especially liked the kids songs.
   Now Mom is sleeping quite peacefully, despite the noise in the living room, the girls are all staying the night.  A sleep-over to honor all the sleep-overs that they had at Grandma O.'s over the years.  Right now they are dancing around the living room to Dolly Parton's "Go to Hell"-what a trip this is-and to think these three girls came from my body!!!!!!!!!  If Mom were only out here to see this she would be in her glory.  She loved to watch the kids play around and dance and act crazy. As I sat here watching them I kept wishing Mom could get up and just take a peek at them.  Now things have quieted down and I hear Amie reading poetry to Mom about what she will see when she gets home to see her Jesus.  Now there is singing once again.  Boy, this little lady is so loved by so many.  My girls have been very faithful in so many ways during this time.  I'm proud of you girls!!  I was thinking what a great family I have been blessed with.  We may go for long periods of time without seeing each other but, when it comes down to the nitty gritty, we all come together for the common cause.  Thanks again my faithful family and friends.
  Well, we'll see what tomorrow brings-only God knows.  I tell you, this little lady is a Harvey-tough as nails to the very end.  Tonight I go to sleep trusting God to do his will and to take care of all the details.  It's such a great thing to know that our Martha is now resting in the arms of Jesus-he has his arms around her frail little body-but, He sees her whole and perfect.

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Stacie here.....I just wanted to tell everyone that Audie spoke to a printer today about the booklet we are going to have made up of all our "Honoring Martha" tributes. It's going to be about the size of a an 8x10 piece of paper folded in half, bound by a plastic spiral. It will have a glossy cover, and the pages will be made of card stock paper. We are going to publish all the tributes we receive, along with as many pictures as we can, and have LOTS of copies made. Then we will be handing them out at Grandma's memorial service. The printing place said that they'd need 4 business days to complete it. So, if you want to have your tribute included in the book, PLEASE send them to me by Tuesday. Thanks again!

January 21, 2011 Funny how things work!!

  The house is quiet and at rest this morning.  All I really hear is the dog yawn once in awhile and the sounds of loons coming from Mom's bedroom.  That CD seems to keep her rested and content.  I know it makes me sleepy everytime I go to her room.  This morning I got up early (well, Tom not as early as you) and Mom was uncovered and lying there with her eyes opened.  I went over to her and asked her if she was trying to freeze.  She kind of smiled at me.  As I was covering her and readjusting pillows and rolled up towels to take pressure off from her elbows, I thought of the many times she would come into our rooms and check on us and readjust our blankets so we would be comfortable and warm.  Or all those times when we were sick (and we always stayed on the couch where she could be at our beck and call) and she would bring us something to drink or check our forehead to check our temperatures.  It just struck me how life is really a circle, she took care of me and now I am doing the same for her (even changing her diapers).  I have said many a time that if Mom were her age now and I got sick she would still take care of me.  Just struck me this morning how funny things are sometimes.
  So on to Mom, she really hasn't changed much.  She lies, not always still, and sleeps alot (or at least we think she is sleeping, who knows she may be just listening to what is going on around here-told you she was always nosey!).  She still takes some pureed food.  Actually, last night I gave her carrots and she didn't seem too impressed and some mixed fruit. She sure didn't gobble it up like she does the applesauce.  Today I told her we'll try green beans and applesauce and bananas.  Other than that she takes quite a bit of water from a large medicine dropper I found at the pharmacy yesterday.  She will still drink Ensure but, we have to be careful because in time her swallowing reflex will cease to function.  Right now I put a little liquid in her mouth and if she holds it I just say, "Okay Mom, ya need to swallow", and she does-everytime.  Thank God this is still working for now.  I dread the day when she won't eat or drink a thing. That may be one of  the hardest things for me to endure-pray for strength for me-I hate this disease!!   She hates to be moved, I don't know if it's pain or it startles her or what.  She needs to be moved to prevent bed sores.  Her muscles are starting to atrophy a wee bit.  She will get her legs up and crossed and it is like moving a mountain to get them un-crossed and then they quite often go back to being crossed.  Try changing a depends with that going on.  She is still smiling alot, sometimes at what we say and sometimes just for nothing and she really loves looking into the corner ( she is conversing with her angels because she almost always will utter something).  She is still trying to speak and once in awhile will come out with a real word.  We tell her constantly that it's almost time to go home and that it is totally okay with us for her to go.  I told her the other day that all of us girls are okay and not to worry about us.  So, now we wait for God to call her home.
  So now I'm going to go check her and if she is awake I'll change her and give her some yummy breakfast.  I am going to miss her so much when she is gone but, I know that I know I'll see her again soon and that she will be out of her misery and back into her mind.  Love to all.

She Was Always Very Nice To Me

Today's post comes from Isabella Fico, Heather Harvey Fico's daughter. If you want to write a little something for the tribute, please do so as soon as possible, and send it to staciemknapp@gmail.com.

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I remember how Aunt Martha would always give us Reese's Pieces candy.  I miss her so much.  We always went to the graves and she let me plant flowers with her.  She was always very nice to me.  And she would always give us hugs.  She would sit and color with me.  I liked spending time with her, she was very fun.  I love her very much. 

~Isabella Fico

Aunt Martha and Bella

Bella, Aunt Martha and Madi

Madi, Tom and Bella

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Thank you Bella for writing what you loved about Aunt Martha. It was beautiful. I am glad you got to know her! She sure was special! ~Love, Stacie

Thursday January 20, 2011

  I sit here next to Mom's bed typing this blog entry and thinking  how she would have normally been peering over my shoulder asking how this new thing (the computer) worked.  I imagine she would like to try her hand at typing just to see if she could still remember how to type.  But instead she is lying flat out in her brand new bed making little noises in her fitful sleep.  Yesterday she barely even kept her eyes open but, today I came in early to give her some water and she was awake.  She tried to talk to me and smiled quite a bit.  Even when I changed her depends for her she was pretty peaceful.  She winced a little when I had to partially roll her over to  put on the new depends.  She took alot of straws full of water and then ate her applesauce.  She really eats pudding and applesauce well.  Today I am introducing some of Pat's home done squash she brought Mom.  Then Hospice suggested baby food.  I'll be off to the store to get some of that as soon as I am done with the blog. There have been alot of people coming and going but, it's good.  Mom always loved people around  and often lamented over the later years when folks didn't stop by anymore.  She would then say well the kids are growing up and have their own lives and everyone is busy nowadays. She always could find a reason to rationalize the shortcomings of others.
  This week has been a little more tense than  the last weeks.  We check on Mom and find her not breathing.  We have all gone in and stood holding our breath or put a finger under her nose and then she'll startle you by taking a big gulp of air.  That is the sleep apnea.  I know that one of these times it will be her last earthly breathe.  That will be sweet sorrow.  I sure will miss my little Mama but even more I'll be almost jealous because she is in glory with her Lord and all her loved ones.  She will no longer have a curved spine and skinny legs (lol) but she will be perfect and at last where she wants to be.  So please pray for wisdom for me as I care for her and that her passing will be soon.  I can tell in the way she looks always toward the ceiling and will smile and point that she is more than ready.  Talk later.  Everyone have a blessed day.