“So Much Of Who I Am And Who I Strive To Be Is Because Of Grandma Ormsbee”

Today's guest post in the “Honoring Martha” series comes from me, Stacie Fallon Knapp. I have so much more I want to say than would fit in one post! I will definitely post again. I hope that those of you who haven't written yet will take the time to do so. For details and instructions, click here to see the original post in this series.

It's so comforting and healing and inspiring to read what everyone has to say about Grandma. Heather said to Amie in a comment yesterday, “Thanks for giving me back that memory!” I love that! I love sharing the memories and love and wisdom that Grandma gave to all of us in her lifetime. I can't think of a better way to pay her back, then to pass it on!

When I think back on my life, in every part, there are countless memories of Grandma. More than I'll ever be able to recall at once. I'm glad that I've started writing them down! So much of who I am, and who I strive to be is because of Grandma Ormsbee. The absolute best parts of my childhood have to do with her. In my very tumultuous childhood, she was, as my sister Amie stated, our solid rock. Her house was our safe haven. It was always filled with love and peace and stability.

I have always felt a special connection with Grandma. The first time I remember feeling it is when I found out that we shared the same middle name. In my young mind, that alone made me very special! As I grew, I couldn't put it into words, but I just felt that we were (as Anne of Green Gables would say) kindred spirits.

Over the years, I discovered we had many things in common. Oddly enough, one was that Grandma and I liked the same kind of music! Old “country and western,” as she called it. Coal Miner's Daughter, Kiss an Angel Good Morning, Stand By Your Man, and all Dolly Parton! We also both LOVED old hymns. I still love all these, and I'm sure she does too.

We both shared a love of peace. We didn't like fighting or loud and angry voices. We did our best to avoid confrontation.

We both loved to laugh and be silly. One of my favorite things about Grandma was her sense of humor. Even recently, we'll get a glimpse of that where she'll throw her head back, her big brown eyes wide and sparkling, and laugh that little devilish giggle with her mouth wide open. I LOVE that!

For as long as I can remember Grandma has always been cold. So am I. When everyone else was comfortable, we'd be cuddled up under blankets, with our turtlenecks and sweatshirts and slippers. I always remember Grandma asking me if I was cold, and I'd say a little bit. And she'd truck down the hallway and crank up the furnace. Soon we'd be comfortable and everyone else would be sweating!

Grandma's favorite things in life were the simple things. God, family, and home. Her heart was at home and she loved to work at home. I'm glad she passed that on to me.

Grandma loved the Bible. So do I.

I also share Grandma's deep love of nature. Whenever we were outside, we'd always comment to each other how beautiful the different shades of greens were, or how blue the sky was. We loved landscapes, hills and trees. She didn't use a lot of descriptive words, but I could just feel her passion for God's creation in her voice and in the look of joy on her face whenever we were outside.

Grandma LOVED a clean house. She was always cleaning and tidying. She definitely passed the neat-freak gene on to me!

It may sound odd, but I've always felt that Grandma and I didn't need words to communicate. I loved just sitting next to her, on the couch, out on the front porch swing, in the car, or ANYWHERE, and just BEING with her. As we sat there in silence, maybe making a small comment now and then, I could just FEEL the love between us. In later years, when her memory was failing, it was even more special. I'd sit beside her, sad that she no longer knew my name or how I was related to her, but happy because I sensed that she somehow recognized that familiarity and unspoken connection between us.

In recent years, I've been told by a few people that they can see Grandma in my eyes. That makes my heart happy every time I hear it! I know that they are referring to the fact that we both have big, brown eyes, but it inspires me to live my life so that people will really see Grandma Ormsbee in me.

I may have a lot in common with Grandma, but I am NOT even CLOSE to the woman she was. I strive to be, but I fall very short. She was kinder, stronger, had more faith, was more loving, more patient, more fun, more playful, more hospitable and more content. Reading through everyone's memories of her has really been an inspiration to me. It has encouraged me to strive to be better. She has impacted so many people, in so many ways. She made a real difference in people's lives, and has left a legacy of love. She made people and relationships her first priority, and in the end, our relationships with God and with people are the only things that really matter.

One of my favorite quotes is, “What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?” That is exactly what Grandma did, and that is exactly what I want to do.

This is one of my favorite pictures! It shows, even at 9 months old, how much I loved being with Grandma and Grandpa.